(The original post appeared on Huffington Post)

I have been called a Beauty Blogger before, but despite my magpie-like attraction to new, pretty-coloured makeup, I can assure you that I am most definitely not. I don’t have any kind of regular beauty routine (except to sleep every day – sleep is important for beauty, you know!) and do not apply the pretty makeup with any kind of frequency.

Last year’s resolution to wear makeup (at least mascara) every weekday, didn’t last very long.

But those in the know think these are the resolutions you should be making in 2014 relating to beauty – now featuring my own personal commentary:

You will not brush your hair when it’s wet. Okay. Sure. Whatever.

You will put on lotion after a hot bath or shower every single time. NO! I refuse. I hate few things as much as body lotion. Meds I’ve been on in the past has messed up my internal thermostat – lotion and sweat do not mix; or rather, it mixes into something sticky and/or slippery. So no.

You won’t wait until your toenails are in the worst shape possible to get a pedicure. That depends on my budget, actually. Gelish is a blessing though!

You will shave your legs more regularly. Uh… not likely. Since I only have a shower in my flat, I’m going to avoid amputating my leg every second day. I will try for once a week; that already counts for more regularly. Except maybe in winter – jeans FTW! Another exception might be acquiring a boyfriend of sorts.

You will never leave the house with chipped nail polish. This is why I don’t wear polish on my finger nails. I might try out a Gelish* mani though…

You will use a clarifying shampoo every once in a while. Maybe. If it’s sulfate-free. I have other priorities at the moment though.

You will get at least seven hours of beauty sleep every night. I hope to have better luck with this in my new place. Upstairs neighbour getting up at 04:00 and click-clacking around on her heels is not helping at the moment.

You will start exfoliating your lips before wearing bright lipstick. Me wear bright lipstick? Haha! Funny…

You won’t pick at your nails. Not a problem as long as my hands stay busy. Traffic usually is my downfall. But I will try.

You will leave the house without a speck of makeup… sometimes, at least. I’m totally on board with this 🙂

You will actually attempt adventurous eye makeup. Mmm… maybe. Not that I’ll necessarily leave the house after trying this. Most likely to happen at a makeup counter.

You will brush your teeth after lunch (and after your mid-morning coffee, for that matter). Hmm… I’ll have gum, is that okay?

You will never ever go to sleep with your makeup on. No matter how sleepy and/or drunk you are. A mission that can be avoided by NOT wearing makeup in the first place! 😀

You will learn how to do all of those fancy braids. Nah. I can do a French braid. And my hair is too short to try braids at the moment anyway.

You will exfoliate your body at least once a week. The body rids itself of dead skin daily. But I guess there are worse things one could do…

You will drink water. Lots and lots of water. I’m doing pretty okay with this most days. The fact that I drink any water at all every day is significant in itself. Also, let’s just pretend it’s water in this gif.

What do you think of this list. Anything you completely disagree with or want to add?

* This blog is in no way endorsed or sponsored by Gelish. I’m just very impressed by it, is all.