There comes a time every year when someone asks, “What would you like for your birthday?”

Usually, I say something sensible like, “Oh, you don’t have to get me anything.” And while that’s true, it would be a disservice to the art of wishful thinking not to have a list.

So, I’ve put one together. It includes a few practical things, some lovely treats, and a car. Because if you can’t be a little ambitious on your birthday, when can you?

Money towards those pesky bits of debt

Let’s start with the grown-up request.

I never imagined reaching an age where money towards debt would feel like an exciting birthday present, but here we are. A contribution towards one of those lingering financial responsibilities would be deeply appreciated.

Is it glamorous? No. Would watching a balance shrink bring me joy? Absolutely.

If you’d like to make it feel more festive, pop the money in a card with a picture of a cake. I’ll provide the sound effects as I transfer it.

A new dress

The dress is still to be confirmed, which means this entry comes with an element of mystery.

Will it be something elegant? Something fun? Something that makes me feel fabulous while I’m popping out for lunch in Johannesburg? The possibilities are endless.

I reserve the right to find the one at any moment and immediately update everyone concerned. Until then, please consider this a dress-shaped placeholder.

Anything from Le Creuset’s Pumpkin Collection in matte black

Some people see a pumpkin. I’m reminded of my grandfather affectionately calling me “Pampoen”.

I’ve got my eye on Le Creuset’s Pumpkin Collection, specifically in matte black. It’s wonderfully dramatic, a little whimsical, and exactly the sort of thing that could convince me that making dinner is an event.

Would I use it? Yes. Would I also spend an unreasonable amount of time admiring it on the kitchen counter? Also yes.

Dreame AirStyle Pro HI

I would like my hair to look as though I’ve put in a great deal of effort, even on days when I’ve put in a perfectly reasonable amount.

Enter the Dreame AirStyle Pro HI. The idea of having a selection of styling options in one tool is very appealing, particularly when the desired result is “fabulous” and the available time is “I should have left ten minutes ago”.

Perhaps it’ll inspire me to experiment with a new look. Perhaps I’ll just enjoy feeling fancy while getting ready. Either way, I’m happy to investigate.

A BODYTEC membership

I like the idea of feeling stronger, and a BODYTEC membership would be a rather lovely way to make that a priority.

The prospect of fitting training into a busy schedule appeals to me, as does having someone guide me through it. There are different membership and prepaid options, so there’s room to find one that works.

I’m imagining myself leaving a session feeling energised, accomplished, and ready to take on the world. Or at least ready for a well-earned sit-down.

Tattoo vouchers

A voucher for Rose Gold Tattoos or True Love Tattoo would be a welcome addition to the birthday haul.

Tattoo ideas have a way of making themselves at home in your brain. One minute, you’re casually thinking, “That would make a lovely design,” and the next, you’re considering placement, size, and how soon you can book an appointment.

A voucher would give my next idea a very encouraging nudge. What will it be? You’ll have to wait and see.

Two more laser treatments for my arms

This one might not come wrapped in a shiny box, but it would be a treat.

I’d love two more laser treatments for my arms. Sometimes the best presents are the ones that help you continue something you’ve already started and make your life a little easier.

And if anyone feels this gift needs a more celebratory presentation, I’ll happily accept the voucher alongside a slice of chocolate cake.

A Life’s Journey spa day at Life Day Spa Rosebank

I would like to spend a day being pampered, preferably while wearing a fluffy robe and having absolutely no decisions to make.

The Life’s Journey spa experience at Life Day Spa Rosebank sounds like the sort of birthday gift I could enthusiastically clear my calendar for.

A few hours devoted to slowing down and being looked after? Yes, please. I’ll emerge relaxed, refreshed, and possibly unwilling to return to my responsibilities immediately.

An ASUS Zenbook 14 in Komodo Coral

As a writer, I can make a very convincing argument for a new laptop being a practical purchase. The fact that the ASUS Zenbook 14 comes in Komodo Coral makes that argument considerably more exciting.

It’s light enough to accompany me when I’m working away from home, and the colour is just gorgeous. I can picture it coming along to a cosy writing spot, where I’ll settle in with a cup of rooibos tea and produce something brilliant.

Or spend twenty minutes admiring my laptop. Creative processes vary.

An OPPO Reno16 F 5G with an OPPO Bubble

I’d love an OPPO Reno16 F 5G accompanied by an OPPO Bubble.

A new phone is always exciting, but add a fun little accessory into the mix, and you’ve really got my attention. The Bubble brings an extra bit of personality to the experience, which I fully support.

There are photos to take, messages to send, audiobooks to listen to, and plenty of birthday moments to capture.

A Geely E2 in Aurora Green

Now we’re getting to the way OTT wish.

I’d love a Geely E2 in Aurora Green, please. An electric car in a gorgeous colour? I can already picture myself driving around Johannesburg with a good audiobook playing and a very pleased expression on my face.

I appreciate that a car is quite a substantial birthday present. If it helps, I’m willing to accept it with or without a giant bow.

The bow would be lovely, though.

A girl can dream, can’t she?

There you have it: my birthday wish list, featuring everything from debt relief to a green electric car, with a black pumpkin and a spa day somewhere in between.

Do I expect to receive everything on it? Of course not. But a wish list is an opportunity to dream a little, laugh at your own ambition, and drop a few exceptionally clear hints.

And if all else fails, there’s always chocolate cake. I’m very fond of chocolate cake.